Leo Fitz, Agent of SHIELD
by baker's huntress
Summary: It took the destruction of S.H.I.E.L.D. for Fitz to truly understand what it meant to be one of its agents


**Leo Fitz, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

_Summary_: It took the destruction of S.H.I.E.L.D. for Fitz to truly understand what it meant to be one of its agents.

_Disclaimer: _ Anything having to do with _Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D._ or the Marvel Cinematic Universe does not belong to me.

_A/N:_ Sorry for the long absence. My grandma passed away at the end of February, and I couldn't bring myself to write anything for a long while. But I'm finally at a place where I could say that I'm "okay." And my muse has finally returned.

I'll eventually get back to writing _Fallen_ again later. Certain characters in the show are currently annoying me, and I'm having trouble getting my head back into the right mindset to continue it. Instead, I'll focus on some new material inspired by the recent episodes.

Anyways, SPOILERS for "Turn, turn, turn" and "Providence."

* * *

It was half past midnight, and Leo Fitz was still hard at work replacing the grounding wires in the cargo loading ramp's electrical circuit. He wasn't lying or exaggerating when he'd told Simmons the morning before that there was no time to replace them if he was to complete the BUS repairs that same day (as per Coulson's orders). Already, he'd been working for two hours. And he still had to replace the wiring within the right wall of the cargo hold. Thankfully, the underground hangar that currently housed the BUS was heated so he didn't have to deal with the hindrance of wearing a thick snow coat.

Once he was satisfied with his work on the left wall, he started to screw the metal panel back on. Before he finished with the last screw, someone cleared their throat right behind him, startling the engineer out of his concentration. He dropped his electric screwdriver as he quickly turned around with his fists up, ready to defend himself. He slowly dropped his hands when he saw Melinda May standing before him with an amused smirk on her face.

"Your stance is all wrong."

"What the _hell_, May! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? A little warning next time, please."

"I tried to get your attention four times before. Not my fault you didn't hear me until I was right behind you." Her smirk softened into a smile. "Fitz, I hadn't had a chance to thank you for what you did in the HUB." For the first time in several days, Fitz gave a genuine smile.

"Well, I couldn't let them hurt you, now, could I? And I know you would have done the same for me. But you are welcome." Then May's expression turned serious as she posed her next question.

"So how are you holding up?" Leo sighed.

"About killing a man, you mean? I've…I've accepted that I did the right thing. And I know I don't regret shooting him. Not anymore, at least. If I hadn't done so, you'd be in his place. And that is unacceptable." He flashed her a smile briefly, which she returned. "I do feel guilty about having to take a life, though. But I also reluctantly accept that I'll probably have to do it again." He paused to swallow the lump that formed in his throat. "Does it ever get easier? Does the guilt ever leave? Do the nightmares ever stop?"

"No." Her answer was direct and honest. And Leo found that he appreciated it.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry we don't have S.H.I.E.L.D. resources anymore to give you professional help. But it sounds like you've worked through your issues just fine. Did you talk things out with Simmons?" Leo frowned, then tried to hide it by bending down to pick up his electric screwdriver. He returned to the panel to finish with the last screw.

"No," he answered without looking at May. "Simmons doesn't even know." After a long moment, he finally turned towards her again, having run out of excuses not to do so after tightening all the screws twice-over. May looked bewildered, but didn't comment.

"Where is she, anyway?"

"Asleep, I reckon. Not really sure."

"That's a first."

"What is?"

"You not knowing what Simmons is up to." There was hint of a frown on her face.

"Actually, I feel as if I hardly know what she's up to these days." There was more than a hint of a frown on his face.

"Is it because of Triplett?"

"Not entirely. She's been… _different_ since we've found out about the GH-325. She's always been passionate about science. But learning more about the drug has become an outright obsession with her, especially since Coulson ordered us to keep our research in-house. It's as if nothing else matters to her." He cut himself off, but May completed his unfinished thoughts for him.

"Not even you." Fitz didn't even bother nodding in affirmation. Instead, he walked towards the right side of the cargo hold and started unscrewing a panel on the wall.

"Suddenly, Triplett shows up and agrees with everything she has to say. And he isn't hiding his affections for her. She's totally falling for it all."

"Triplett is just some guy. _You_ are her best friend, her _partner_." Fitz only sighed as he completely removed the panel and placed it down against the wall.

"Well, looks like she's found a replacement. She's been choosing to stand by his side lately. Both in physical proximity and in ideology."

"Ideology?"

"Like with Coulson and the coordinates. I trusted Coulson, and followed his lead—blindly, I might add—even if there was no proof or logic. She was skeptical and hesitant…just like Triplett was." May frown grew.

"Do you think he's a HYDRA agent trying to turn Simmons against us?"

"Truthfully, May, I don't have the highest opinion of him, so I've imagined the worst possible things about him."

"In any case, I'll keep an eye on him."

"Thanks." He started carefully stripping out the fried grounding wires.

"There you guys are!" Both Fitz and May turned to see Skye approaching. "So, couldn't sleep either?"

Fitz's mind thought of several ways to answer her question even though it was rhetorical; from the rude and sarcastic, _No shite!_, to the long and morbid description of his nightmares. He pondered telling her about the blood he imagines dripping from his fingers and the faceless man begging in fear for Leo not to shoot him. But he was tired of dwelling on those thoughts, and he did not want to worry his friend, so he settled for the least depressing and frightening answer.

"It's too quiet in there," Fitz said, nodding towards the entrance to Providence's main living area. "I miss the humming of the engines."

"I miss the slight vibrations as we fly," Skye continued without missing a beat.

"I miss my bed," May followed up. "The beds they have here are...unfamiliar."

"Yeah! I can't quite figure out why, though. Too soft, perhaps? Or too hard?"

"No." Skye shook her head even as she voiced her answer. "It's more like they're too _big_. Too _spacious_."

"Well, no one is stopping us from sleeping here on the BUS. The crew at the HUB was able to clean our bunks before we took off." Both Fitz and Skye smiled at May's suggestion. Suddenly, a new voice broke across the hangar.

"Looks like we all have the same idea." Coulson walked towards his team. Fitz nodded at him once he approached.

"Hey, AC!"

"So how long have you been standing in the shadows?" May asked.

"Long enough." Then he turned towards Fitz. "It's nice to know that you trust in me that much."

"I'd follow you anywhere, sir." And he meant it.

"Even if it's away from Simmons?" Fitz hesitated only slightly.

"Maybe it's better that way. Perhaps we can find a way to get her back into the civilian world without having her surrender to Colonel Talbot. I mean, technically, we don't exist anymore since Skye has deleted us from all records. Simmons could start again. This is, of course, assuming that she wants to go back to being a civilian. But I don't think Simmons was meant for a secret agent kind of life."

"And you are?"

"I believe so. I just need you to train me. Plus, I have nothing to go back to. Simmons does. Her parents are most likely sick with worry and are trying to contact her at this very moment.

"It's ironic. I first joined S.H.I.E.L.D. because I knew I'd be given the resources I needed to bring my designs to life. I never wanted to be out in the field and get my hands dirty. But since you've been abducted, sir, I minded being in the field less and less. And I'm willing to get my hands dirty to save a friend. It's a bit belated, but now that S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone, and with HYDRA out there causing havoc, I finally understand what it means to truly be an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. That oath we took to be humanity's last line of defense when _everything_ else fails—I believe in it now. Wholeheartedly. And if Simmons disagrees, then I guess this is where FitzSimmons ends."

"Good answer." Coulson smiled. Then he refocused his attention to address the whole group. "I don't necessarily trust all of you as friends." He briefly glanced at May, whose stoic façade faltered for that brief second. "But at least I know I can trust all three of you as allies. And as my allies, I don't want to keep secrets from you anymore. There are some things some of you should know. May, Fitz—there's something you don't know about the GH-325. And Fitz, there's something you need to know about Skye. And this stays between us."

* * *

_A/N 2:_ Yeah, my first fic without a FitzSimmons pairing. If you can't tell, I'm more than a little disappointed with Jemma at the moment. But at the same time, I actually like this "separation" thing the writers of the show are doing. FitzSimmons were so codependent in the beginning of the show. Though it was adorable to watch, it's also nice seeing them as separate beings. But again, it's sad to see them drifting apart. I really hope they end up together romantically in the show, though. I still ship FitzSimmons, no matter how annoyed I am at Simmons right now.

And I have to say that the Coulson-May complete fallout breaks my heart, even more than the FitzSimmons drifting apart does. I never knew how much I cared about their relationship until "Turn, turn, turn."


End file.
